Time

This evening I had a thought. And then I decided to share it. Not that it's profound. It may not even be true. But I think it's healthy to speculate, to imagine, to hypothesize.

I was thinking about my recent birthday. I was thinking of how I'm suddenly old. By no means do I think I'm an old woman. In fact, every day tells me I am still very young. But I think back to when I was a child. Then I think of myself today through my old, child's mind. Suddenly I realize I'm adult. I'm not quite sure when I got from point A to the current point B. It's flown by.

When I mention to someone older than me how quickly the years have flown by, they say "Just wait." These comments always sadden me. I love life. I don't want it to fly by. I want to treasure every moment. Every day I realize how more and more I want to live in the here and now. I don't want to wish the years away. I want to treasure every minute, whether that moment is joy or pain. Either way, in the end, a life lived well and in sincere relationship with God ends up a beautiful one.

But then comes the oxymoron. The vice versus. I want to grow old. I want to grow wise. I want to have experiences. I want things to happen to me that can only come with age. I dream of someday being a grandma, and of everything in between. I dream of living each moment, each chapter in life fully. I dream of one day dying, of spending eternity with my Lord. How sweet it will be.

And here is where my thought comes: what if the years fly by faster and faster, so when we one day get to eternity it will not seem so long? I was remembering when I was a child and a year seemed so long. Now I realize that as I get older, every year seems shorter and shorter. Stop for a moment and try to grasp eternity. We simply cannot. Or maybe if you're old and wise, you can. Maybe as we grow older the concept is not  so difficult understand. After all, Earth is just the preparing ground for Heaven.